too stressed for this.

too much shit going on. certain bitches need to fuck off.

i hope all of you get what you deserve.

liars and bitches like them will burn in hell.

all of them are so fake. I want to punch them. but i cant.

i dont get why the fuck you would do this to her.

she doesn't deserve this. i wish that she never has to see

your lying bitch face ever. go ahead. be fake to try to fit in.

you're dead inside anyways. there's honestly no point in

trying to convince yourself otherwise. go ahead. keep

lying to yourself. you're so good at it anyways.

i cant believe i trusted all of you.

you fuckers can go die and burn in hell.

DRAGONAUTS. GRUNT AS ONE.

This past weekend was pretty intense.
The Long Beach Dragon Boating Festival was
awesome. Way better than i expected it to be.
Although we had like HOURS of downtime on
the first day, it was definitely worth the wait.
Second place is pretty damn good for our first
year of dragonboating. :]
well, some of our first years of dragonboating.
all those days of waking up early, dragging my
butt to practice, tons of mornings when i woke
up sore as hell, all for two days of racing.
Worth every single minute of practice.
Thank you Dragonauts.
Thank you Will, Phil, Andy, and Dennis.
Thank you everyone who came to support us. <3
Cant wait for next year.
Bring it on.

Summer!

First things first.
IFLYFAEJH!!!<3
:D
Okay. Soooo day 6 of summer. :]
and so far...we've kept up with working out.
kinda. only 3 days of workout. and im sore.
i still wanna play tennis too. :]
at least im only sore in my abs. unlike last week...
and some other stuff. I need to look back
at my "To Do" list for the summer.
i will accomplish EVERYTHING on that list.
well...hopefully.
Also...im only really working out in the mornings
so if you wanna hang out, just call me up.
im still open during afternoons and nights. :]
usually. i cant think of anything else to write.
soooo...have a good summer. later.

Wondering...

There's a lot of stuff on my mind.
i dont know if i can do anything anymore.
i feel like theres something i should be able to do.
and i just cant do it right now. its horrible.
im feeling pretty useless right now. ugh.
i hate this. i cant...do anything. my mind
is drawing a blank. GOD DAMNIT.
>< im ****ing useless.
i dont know what to do anymore...
anyone wanna kill me then? =/

Finished....Almost

YES. ITS OVER. for the most part anyways.
Cerritos College Classes. Done.
AP Tests (x4). Done.
Cousins, Aunts, Uncle, and Grandma. Back in the P.I.
Tennis season. Done.
CIF Champions. :]
Now there are just two finals i need to worry about.
Smooth ride until school is over.
Now I can hang out and play more.
And get back into Dragonauts.
It's probably going to be the only way I can stay in shape
over the summer. haha
but i'll try to play tennis over the summer.
Yayyy. I'm happy. Although I didn't do anything for CIF.
I want a ring, but I know I don't deserve it. Oh well.
Maybe next year? haha...

Counting Down

One down. Three to go.
Easiest one out of the way.
Now it only gets harder.
Plus, tennis...isn't over.
I thought it would be over
after league finals.
turns out i was wrong.
very wrong. i still have
practice. but no games until
after APs? practice is still
going to tire me out, and
take away precious study time.
i doubt i'm even going to be
playing in the CIF games.
i'm most likely going to be an
alternate. i really want that
CIF ring though. :]
but...it's still strange.
I don't feel any pressure to
study right now. it doesn't
really feel like AP season...
compared to last year...
and i only had 1 AP last year.
is something wrong with me?
maybe there's just too much
stuff going on right now.
i wish i could just cut back on
some things, but it's impossible.
however, i just know im going
to feel extremely relieved once
all of this is over. i really should
focus on grades, and i'm going
to try my hardest to concentrate.

i shall continue to think about
all of this stuff later. for now...
ill have all my goals as my
motivation for getting through
all of this...

7 days and counting. :]

Hell Weeks?

Next two weeks are gonna be hectic to no end.
Next two weeks =
- 4 AP tests
- League Finals
- Family leaving
- Cerritos College final
AHHHHHHH! these few months have just flown by.
i still wish i could control time, so everything wont
be as stressful. wishing wont get me anywhere though.
the day of the last AP test signals the day im free. :]

4 AP tests - omggg stresssssssss. majority of my stress
is coming from here. im scared i might blank out during
the test and get 1's. it's a horrible feeling. and it won't go
away. i'm. so. screwed. math i guess it's decent. chem...
im dead. more than dead. APUSH....i can't remember much
right now. and AP Lang...i dont feel as though i really learned
anything that would be useful for the test.

League Finals - not that much stress. but im going to be
missing a lot of class. missing two AP classes that day.
RIGHT BEFORE AP TESTING. if only it was on a different
day. Missing APUSH and AP Lang. I need the help for those
two classes. and i don't want to mess up for league finals.
I can't mess up. not now. if i do, im most likely going to get
kicked off of the team.

Family leaving - seems like it went by really fast. i know im
going to miss them later. kinda. sorta. but yeah. this past week
they've been out the whole day, and it's going to be weird once
they're gone. things will be...too quiet. and that'll be on my
mind a lot. especially during the AP tests. my mind tends to
wander during long tests...

Cerritos College Final - gah. i hate this class. its so pointless for
me. and it counts for my gpa. i dont really do well in this class
because im not musically inclined. honestly, me + music does not
mix. ever. in any way. i have more important things to worry
about, and i'd rather not have this bs class take up space and time
for me.

Everything seems to revolve around APs. It's ridiculous. I hate it.
but it'll be worth it. I guess. I hope. Once everything is over, i'll
have some kickback time. :D really looking forward to that.

To do list after APs:
- Movie nights.
- horror
- comedy
- action
- old school disney movies :D
- random
- Beach hangout?
- Go back to Dragonauts. (my back hurt so i couldnt go to the race)
- Chill out with everyone.
- Sleep in my own room again! :D (and hopefully get my comp back)
- Pig out time with everyone.
- Days where i can just hang out the whole day.
- :]
- Getting back in shape outside of Dragonauts
- Learn to cook.

Im excited. :]
for after APs.

It's the end

This is the end. No more f***ing up.
Ever. Last week was the last time.
I refuse to let it happen again.
No more mistakes, no more hesitation.
I refuse to f*** this up.

Meh

Bleh. This week...didn't really go so well.
and I don't know why. It's just like...
kinda really horrible. meh. well, the week is over
so im pretty sure next week will be better.
cerritos college classes...pain in the ass. waste of life.
starting the tennis season this week
and that'll add another time consuming event
to my school schedule until...may.
yay. that and my cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandma
coming over at the sameeee timeeeeeee.
such perfect timing. (sarcasm)

maybe i'm getting sick? i dont know. could be.
i felt like i was gonna throw up in a few classes
throughout the week. i didnt. but i felt like i might.
lotsa coughing and sneezing. its most likely nothing
but it still gets pretty annoying. oh well. just another thing
i need to ignore and focus on more important things.
(btw, eff you ccc. ruining my mondays until may.)
i've noticed everything will end in may..
cerritos college classes...
tennis season...
family staying over...
AP tests...
SAT I...(tech in march)
SAT II....

now...i can't wait for may. all of this will end.
and i'll have some free time to do whatever.
i can relax a little more. no stress. well...less stress.
at least its something to look forward to.
as long as there's something to look forward to,
i think i'll be able to manage until then.

Dedicated to...

Okay. Lame. my last blog was cut off. deleted. erased. somehow.
anyways.
this one is gonna be dedicated to that special someone <3
(sorry aaron. i don't mean you. mebbe next time. LOL)
and this will always be here. for those nights that you're up
at night, sending me offline IMs, and i cant respond. lol
you're beautiful. you're perfect. you're just oh so cute. :]
i don't know what i'd be doing without you.
i honestly wish we could hang out more. and i know we'll
find time. you're the best. i know you can do anything you
want to do. no matter what. beat up anyone who stands in
your way. xD ill do my best to help you with that btw
i dont care what you say. you're incredible. seriously.
and i love you. :]<3

hehe. i typed <# at first, but i caught myself. xD
pulling a janet. :]
and i wish...
ah wait. i don't need it.
corny, cliche, but you're still my wish come true.

Weekend Recap

Hrmm...well...i dont have much to write about.
just...writing so some people *cough cough*
who should be doing their hw, have something
else to read. haha
Sooooooooooooooooooooo. here we go?
This week was pretty much a blur. but then again
weeks are always a blur for me after its over.
i just remember this weekend from friday.
pretty good weekend. exception of hw. but hw
always ruins stuff, right?


Friday: School goes by...same boring stuff everyday
After school yogurtland with janet <3>

Best day ever? Definitely.

New Year. New Choices?

Okay. I guess I'm gonna make a blog.
You guys can thank Aaron for that.
We'll see what happens. Don't expect much.
I guess I just needed a place to say
what's on my mind. I've never really
just said what i was thinking. just kept it in.
blahhh. last day of winter break.
everyone else is freaking out. im not.
i dont know if i should be worried about that
right now im just kinda reminiscing on the past.
cause im kinda annoyed at the present.
my family really knows how to ruin my mood.
just one dinner conversation, and i feel like crap.
anyways. i was just thinking of all those
trips to the p.i. hanging out with my cousins
i guess it's cause i was looking through all
of these old pictures from 2003 to present.
i miss those days. now im just really looking
forward to when i can live through those days.
Countdown: Three months.
Everyone from the p.i. is coming over in 3 months
all staying over at our house. fun right? :]
well im looking forward to it. i dont care if its
26 people. 1 house. and 2 bathrooms.
it's just gonna be a fight to take a piss. but
i havent seen them for a couple years. and i want
to hang out with them more. before everyone gets
busy with college. and then life after college.
something i really don't want to think about now.
Hopefully, i still have enough free time to enjoy
my junior and senior year with all my friends.
list of things do to before senior year:
watch a real sunset. not going 60 mph. lol
scary movie night.
hot chocolate.
play in the snow.
another picnic.
make an 11:11 wish come true
hang out more.
and other stuff that i cant think of now.
oh yeah. some new years resolutions/goals that i want to accomplish.
everyone who reads this...
MAKE SURE I DO THEM! PLEASE!
okay. sooo here it goes.
1. Be more decisive (hopefully i'll get that chance to prove it [: )
2. Increase endurance
3. Procrastinate less
4. Not get major injuries (ex: tennis elbow, sprained joints, broken limbs, etc)
5. 4.0. plain and simple. nothing less would be acceptable. not anymore.
6. Breaking 2k on SAT. i'm still disappointed with myself. i don't care what you say
7. Learn to manage my time better. I failed at it last year.
8. Make time for friends, family, and school.
i guess that's just about it. for now. we'll see if i keep updating this thing.